Remember when you were the big man on campus? That time in your life when the weekend started on Wednesday night and doormen didn't humiliate you for not wearing a collared shirt? They were simpler times.
Wait! You still have that faded college football jersey, right? The one with the salsa stains? Throw that bad boy on and relive the "glory days" with our answer to the age old question: "Hey, where are we watching the game?
For The East Coasters
Florida State fans can take solace in Wrigleyville's Rebel Bar & Grill, where the only thing more celebrated than EJ Manuel touchdown passes are the bar's famous Bacon Bloody Mary's. Displaced Mountaineers don't have to mine their way back to Morgantown to watch West Virginia play. Lincoln Tap has the Big East Conference covered.
South Carolina isn't often referred to as a "battleground state," but it's an all-out war when the Gamecocks and Tigers are playing. South Carolina fans can scowl false start penalties like an enraged Steve Spurrier in the beer garden at Sheffield's, while Clemson faithful can mimic their famous tailgates in Vines on Clark's outdoor dining area.
For Our Midwest Livers
Notre Dame may not be an over-hyped speed bump this season, and that's cause for celebration. If you can't make it to an Irish pub, Citizen Bar is a perfectly suitable South Bend substitute. Oklahoma? Is that Midwest? Have you watched the Big Ten lately? We'll take who we can get! There's no more appropriate "bandwagon" team than the Sooners. So, lease your allegiance this season and cheer on OU at Joe's on Weed.
For The California Dreamers
Oregon has a trail and, apparently, a pretty good football team. Root on the Ducks in any number of Nike customized, highlighter yellow accented jerseys at Witt's Bar and Grill. It requires a 1500 on your SAT to get into Stanford, but only a valid ID that says you're at least 21-year-old to cheer them on at Lions Head Pub.
USC can officially play for a bowl game, so grab a spot at Wise Fool's Pub before their record is shaken clean like the NCAA's personal rules violation etch-a-sketch. Hurry, you probably don't have much time! Arizona may be college football's surprise team this season. Now that the secret's out, party like Rob Gronkowski at Finley Dunnes. Bear down!
Chicago's Version of Southern Hospitality
Not even Nick Saban could resist cracking a smile at Houndstooth Saloon. With the way this Wrigleyville thirst bucket throws down for Alabama games, you'd think someone turned the volume to eleven on some Taylor Swift at Sunday's beloved "Country Night." LSU fans can drown their Honey Badger sorrows in a glass of Honey Weiss at the Standard Bar and Grill.
White Sox second basemen Gordon Beckham isn't the only Bulldog in Chicago. This city is a hub for exports out of Athens and on Saturday's in the fall, you can find them at The Southern. Longhorn fans who are looking to "hook ‘em" can get their Texas-sized appetites on some bomb queso at Brownstone in North Center.
Go! Fight! Cheers!