Tonight, I'll be at First Bites Bash, stuffing my face with delightfully portioned short ribs and working the wine stains out of my Trump Collection tie. If you couldn't land a ticket to the sold out event, don't get angry. Or hungry. Or hangry. There's still plenty to do in Chicago and I'm inviting you to kick it with me this weekend.
For various reasons (primarily financial), I do not own a boat. But I've purposely made friends with people who do and my summer's rock. As the name would imply, Strictly Sail is a celebration of all things sailing. The four day event features more gear, sailboats and industry experts than you can shake a dock line at. If you own a pair of Sperry's and know the difference between stanchions and masts, make a hard turn starboard and dock at Navy Pier.
As a child of the ‘90s, I could lament not having an iPad in junior high or complain about ten-minute-long song downloads. But at least my developmental years had a more worthwhile soundtrack than will.i.am and Flo Rida. Method Man rose to MC prominence as 1/9 of the legendary hip-hop collective, Wu-Tang Clan. On Saturday, he'll "bring the pain" and I'll, undoubtedly, feel nostalgic for my childhood and grateful for my portable CD player.
As it turns out, the scariest thing on Fear Factor was host Joe Rogan. The trained martial artist has become UFC's Dick Vitale, only with a more devastating knee strike and affinity for punching people. Rogan's in town to do commentary for Saturday night's UFC on Fox 6, but he'll be doing a stand-up comedy show on Friday. We recommend you not heckle him. Heckling makes him angry. You don't want to see Joe Rogan when he's angry.
I like to think of myself as an evolved person, but I'll spend Saturday night shadow boxing in front of my TV and throwing phantom bicycle kicks in the air. Ten years ago, UFC was a fringe sport novelty. Now, it's the country's fastest growing sports empire this side of football. Equal parts compelling theater and primitive machismo, it's the most fun you can have watching two dudes in compression shorts beat the snot out of each other.
I'm celebrating the return of hockey and one of its greatest rivalries, with a trip to the United Center. For almost a century, these two teams have body checked and line brawled their way through the NHL's Central Division. The lockout-shortened season amplifies the importance of every game, so I'll be fist pumping to The Frantellis extra hard this weekend.
For a detailed and up-to-the-minute calendar of Chicago events, click here.